I feel this way. It hurts alot. In my life I have had so many people come in and out of my life...nobody seems to wanna stick around. I have stuck by my friend for 2 years while she had not left the house. I would travel the 45 minutes from my apartment to her house and sit with her all day long just because she didn't want to be alone but she had anxiety so bad that she couldn't go past her driveway. Now, she is starting to leave the house not very far but she goes places. And now that she does...I have kinda been put on the back burner. I feel like I was just a nice place holder until she could start getting out then she can hang with the other people that wouldn't stick by her or who weren't there. It used to be all like oh Brittany you wanna come hang out? Now its well me and so and so are hanging out but you can come if you want...Yea I feel like I fit in real well with your skank ass friend. Thanks. And cause I have a 4 month old child that I don't want outside in the damn hot ass sun while I tan she doesn't seem to wanna hang out either. She says I stay in the house to much... well I love being in my home. I am not a fan of the outdoors especially when it comes to my 4 month old daughter sweating and crying the whole time wanting to go inside. I can't just beat my child half to death when she cries. She has every reason to cry...she is hot and wants to go inside. Out side she can get ate up with bugs and everything. I'm sorry I sound like a whiner but gosh I just needed to vent. I'm tired of having friends for a while then they find something better and out I go. I think I am a good friend. I am loyal and I love all my friends. They know they can come talk to me about anything. But, here I am might as well be friendless...The only person who shows any interest in being my friend anymore is Jessica...and she is a million miles away. I guess I'm just destined to be alone. This is ridiculous I need to shut up...I'm just so tired its 3:30 in the morning and I need to go to sleep but I am up stressing to the max about nothing obviously.
I'm just stupid.
Brittany<3
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2 comments:
Oh hun do i know how this feels!
I over the years have always been the one to support everyone. To be the leaning post when everyone else in down and then kicked over like a stick on the ground when not needed anymore.
Life's lessons are sometimes hard ones to learn and deal with. I have one best friend who is more like a sister now. We have been friends for 8 years now and without each other we joke that we have no one. It is partially a joke but we both know that truly we are our only friends. Niether of us go out and try to make new friends because most people our age have no clue what responsibility is or what we deal with being mommies on a daily basis.
I hope you can find peace within yourself and only cling to the ones who return the favor for you.
As always i wish i was closer! I would love hanging out with you all day!
You know I would so be over to give you a hug if I could!!! I know the whole story, I'm sorries!
That being said, you really SHOULD let kaci be outside atleast 30 minutes a day so that she gets enough vit d and does not develop rickets.
Maybe try getting out and finding some hobbies - a mommy play group or church or something you so can meet people and have some adult interaction.
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