Thursday, December 2, 2010

Dear Kaci,

Another month has come and gone and you are one month older. I just wish that I could slow down time. I try my best to savor every moment...to just take in every single new thing you do...but gosh you do so many new things lately its so hard to keep track. Your new favorite word is Bubble. And oh my gosh it sounds so sweet when you say it. I am gonna try to get you on video saying it but you just don't want to sit still for the camera anymore. You used to just pose and do everything for the camera and now most of my videos are chasing you around. I love every second of it though. You are so crazy lately. You love jumping on my bed and today to jumped right off of it and landed on your knees and thought it was hilarious. Mimi and I about had a heart attack but you are just so active lately most of it doesn't phase you. You are so full of life lately. The age you are at is simply wonderful. Its not the easiest but I am enjoying every second. We had your picture done with Santa the other day...or let me say that we tried to get a good pic of you with Santa the other day but you weren't having none of it. It was actually quite comical looking back on it now. At the time of course I was mortified because our lovely mall echoes so was you were screaming "MOMMY and MIMI" and screaming at the top of your lungs like someone was beating you everyone in the mall got a great show too. Of course most of them had had children your age at one point or another or understand that at your age you're just learning about new things and Santa and strangers aren't on your list of favorites right now I guess. I think next year will be better but if its not then we will survive. We will just get another picture of your crying and send it out on our Christmas card just like we did this year. Even things like that...I wanna remember. Moments like that might be some of my favorites. You are so sassy and divalicious lately. It makes mommys skin crawl a little bit sometimes but deep down I love every second of it. You recently learned what a hug is. And boy you sure do love passing them around. If you hug me you have to go into the next room and hug mimi and daddy too. Sometimes you even throw in a hug to your stuffed animals. You are becoming so loving lately and I am eating that up because from what I have heard this doesn't last long. One day you will be a teenager and you will think I am the enemy. You will think I am only out to make your life suck but it's all out of love and one day you will know that. But until the day when you write in your diary about how mean and unfair I am I will savor each and every second of your loving. I was watching a show tonight about a boy who has a very rare skin disease that makes his skin come off if he plays or does any sort of activity...it broke my heart. I sat and watched it holding you in my arms and I just cried and thanked God for blessing me. We have had some bumps along the road as far as health with you but by the grave of God you were healed. The lord touched you my baby...he sent you down from heaven to show me what true love is but also what real pain is. Before you I had no clue how much hurt one human could stand...having to watch you suffer for the first month of your life...was more pain than I ever want to feel ever again. But, I am grateful that God picked us to be the family that had to go through it. I feel like I appreciate you more...I feel like I know now how quickly something or someone you love more than anything in the world can be taken away from you...and I know how close I came to losing you and I never EVER want to feel that again. I just love you so much Kaci. I know that I talk about your surgery a lot and what you went through but I just don't want you to ever forget how special you are...and that you are a true miracle. I never ever want you to forget that. Not only are you a miracle in the eyes of doctors but in my eyes and everyone elses you come into contact with. I feel so incredibly blessed be your mommy. Heck, I feel blessed to have even met you but to be your mommy is a feeling I could never explain in a million years. I am so lucky. You are such a blessing and I am so proud of you. Thank you for being my precious angel. I love you so much.

Mommy