Saturday, May 1, 2010

Happy Birthday My Kaci...

My sweet angel...Time seems to have gotten away from me this past year. I feel as if I just saw your sweet little face for the first time yesterday and here you are turning 1. I have mixed emotions about this day. As it has been approaching I have been excited but dreading it. It's a painful reminder that time just goes by to fast. I'll never forget this day one year ago. I won't lie...I was miserable. I was in so much pain and felt so sick waiting for you to get here. In labor for 23 hours and on magnesium so my blood pressure doesnt spike up I was ready to give up...and then it happened...In a moments notice everything that had happened before that meant absolutely nothing. I heard the sweet sound of your first cry. And when I say sweet sound...I mean the most amazing sound I have ever heard. Then they laid you on my belly and I took one look at you and it was as if the world had stopped for just a second and you and I locked eyes and I was totally and completely and amazingly in love. Before that I never knew my heart could hold so much love for someone. I couldn't believe that I had created you...something so utterly PERFECT. There was no other way to describe you but PERFECTION. At that moment I had no idea but as you grow...my heart holds more and more love for you each day that goes by. We had no idea that in just a few days you would go through an ordeal that would almost take you from me...It hurts to even think about that time. I just remember you laying in that incubator after surgery and looking at you and just praying. Begging God to please let you make it through it. I would do ANYTHING if he would just let you make it through this...and here we are. You are the most amazing and beautiful little girl ANYONE could ask for. You are the light of my life. My reason for being. My complete and total everything. And I love you so much baby. Happy birthday.
Love, Mommy.