I posted my "Not Me Monday" on Tuesday... that is how messed up I am lately. I dont know where my head is anymore...
So my dad has hurt me once again. I was on my way to get him to take him to his sisters funeral and my mom called me and told me not to go cause dad couldn't leave the halfway house he is living at and I asked why and she gave me some lame excuse that he got into an altercation with some guy and I know my dad and I doubt that would have happened the way she said it did. So I got home and she told me the real reason...He got a dirty urine. Methadone... Again... When does it end? Methadone has ruled my life...my entire life and I have never even touched the stuff. It not only has ruined my fathers life but it is slowly ruining mine. Why do I keep letting him hurt me? Why am I so stupid...
I just need a friend to talk to so bad right now and guess what?? I have nobody...All my friends have their own lives now and arent at all worried about my problems...
Pfft who would be?? As many times as I have let him do this to me I would get tired of hearing it to..
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2 comments:
Oh honey i am so so sorry that he did this to you again. I wish he could see what it is doing to you and care enough to straighten up.
We all do things and then ask ourselves why when we get hurt. I think a lot of it is we want ot believe in people and their ability to do right by us. I have never had to deal with a drug addict but i have dealt with many situations where i continue to let myself get hurt by people who i know will hurt me. There is nothing wrong with wanting to have faith that he can change but eventually he will be the one at a loss when your faith in him runs out.
I wish i could be there for you and hold you. I know how important it is to have a friend when you need it the most. I have been there many times and you should never have to face any of this alone. I wish i was closer because i would never get tired of being a leaning post for you when you need it.
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