I just wanna get away. Please, don't get me wrong...I love my daughter more than life itself but sometimes it is so freaking tiring. I was so excited that my mom was gonna take her today so I could go to wal-mart and shot without having to take her in out and and all that stuff. I thought to myself "Wow, its sad when Walmart feels like a vacation.."
In other news I suppose my husband and I are okay again.Things just don't feel right anymore. I know this is personal but I mean I have no friends to talk to all this about so I am just gonna vent about it on here. I feel as if he is forcing himself to have sex with me. He never initiates sex anymore. I always have to kinda start rubbing on him and kissing on him to show him that I want to. Then once we start kissing that lasts about a minute. After that I please him for a few minutes and then we have sex for like all of 5-10 minutes. He doesn't seem interested in it at all anymore. He says its cause he has to work early so he just tries to hurry it up but he does the same thing on the weekends when he doesn't have to work early.
I feel like he doesn't love me anymore...
I love him but like I said I am starting to wonder if its enough anymore.I am unhappy plain and simple. I don't know if I am unhappy because of my marriage though. Its a number of things really. My body,my marriage, my mother in law(UGH), my mom starting this new chemo, my dad getting out...Lots of things are making me unhappy in general. I am fine when I am around people but when I am alone I lose it.
I am so lonely. Even when my husband is here I am lonely. Because he feels like he isn't here when he is. He comes home from work and eats and gets on his computer and plays poker till bedtime then he goes to bed. If I want cuddle time and kissing time I have to go to bed at the same time as him and initiate sex.
I am tired of feeling like I am having to force my husband to be intimate with me.
I don't know what to do anymore...
Brittany<3
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
How i wish i could wrap you in my arms and tell you it is all okay. I know many people may not agree with me but often times love is not enough to hold 2 people together. Just because you love someone does not mean it was meant to be. Marriage is the hardest thing i think i have ever had to do. Even harder than being a parent. It takes excruciating work from both parties and sometimes even with all the work things just do not work out the way we want them to. I pray that you guys can find a way to make it work but do not just depend on love to pull you through because love is not the only binding in a marriage.
You sound like you are under a lot of stress. When ever you want to talk just hit me up. I will turn my yahoo messanger on today and see if i hear from ya love! Take care!
Being a mummy is HARD. Nothing can really prepare you for the responsibility and how time consuming it is. I don't think guys can really appreciate the change.
You and your body have been through alot , you need to give yourself a break mentally and physically. Take a few hours to yourself , if you cannot do that maybe a long bath with the door locked .
What you need to remember is it passes so quickly , these early days will become a blur and you will miss them . I remember feeling the exact same way after my eldest was born and somehow she is now a wonderful 4 year old . Have you thought about medication? If its needed its needed and nothing to be ashamed of
Post a Comment