My child got her shots yesterday and she was so cranky. She woke up this morning with a slight fever so its been a hectic 2 days. Along with that ... My cousin Ashley who I coach cheerleading with said some very hurtful things to me cause I couldnt come to the game cause Kaci was riunning a fever and just wanted to be held BY ME ! nobody else could calm her down. She called me basically a bad mother and that I was just looking for an excuse to get out of the game. Need I remind you that she didnt come to the game last week because she wanted to spend time with her boyfriend and she wasnt gonna come this weekend because she was going to Kentucky Kingdom. After she borrowed 20 dollars from me cause she didnt have any money to last her till she got paid again but she has ennough to pay for gas to go to kentucky and stuff...I dont get it. So I am thinking I will probably go to practice monday and tell the girls bye myself and then leave...cause I can't go on like that with her treating me like crap because my child isn't feeling well. Kaci comes first PLAIN AND SIMPLE she doesnt understand cause she doesnt have a child.
So thats pretty much ruined my entire weekend. To top all the off my ovary hurts still. So I am just not having a good day today.
Please jsut pray I find the strength to get through all this.
Brittany<3
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
A is for Active and B is for Bunny...
My friend Jessica saw this on Mamabears blog and has started doing this with her. I think it is a wonderful thing and just another way to keep up a sort of scrap book for my amazing baby. We will be working our way through the alphabet. Last week they started A and I missed that and this week is B so I am just combining them.
So here we go. A is for Active.
My little angel has been so crazy lately. I remember just yesterday when she was a few weeks old and she just slept and ate and pooped and peed. That was it. Nowadays we take 1 3 hours nap in the middle of the day and two 30 minute naps and thats it...the rest of the day she is awake. We play and she giggles and jumps in her jumperoo as you saw in my post with the video. I can't believe she is 4 months old. Tomorrow is her 4 month appointment. She was originally supposed to be getting 5 shots but thanks to my wonderful best friend Jess she will only be getting 2. The DTaP and Hep B. The other will be given at later dates. She WILL BE getting every vaccine they will just be spaced out to 2 shots every 2 months. Except the rotavirus which I have read causes intestines to rotate and we all know I have ever reason to be a little leary about this.
And now B is for Bunny.
Why bunny? You might ask...well here goes. Brandon and I have called each other bunnies since we got together.. I have no clue where it came from or why its so special to us but thats what we call each other in the place of baby lol. Well when we had Kaci she became our baby bunny. And thats one of her nicknames now. Its just something special between us.
I'll learn how to make the pictures from Jess tomorrow hopefully.
Hope ya'll enjoy.
Brittany<3
I'm never good enough...
I feel this way. It hurts alot. In my life I have had so many people come in and out of my life...nobody seems to wanna stick around. I have stuck by my friend for 2 years while she had not left the house. I would travel the 45 minutes from my apartment to her house and sit with her all day long just because she didn't want to be alone but she had anxiety so bad that she couldn't go past her driveway. Now, she is starting to leave the house not very far but she goes places. And now that she does...I have kinda been put on the back burner. I feel like I was just a nice place holder until she could start getting out then she can hang with the other people that wouldn't stick by her or who weren't there. It used to be all like oh Brittany you wanna come hang out? Now its well me and so and so are hanging out but you can come if you want...Yea I feel like I fit in real well with your skank ass friend. Thanks. And cause I have a 4 month old child that I don't want outside in the damn hot ass sun while I tan she doesn't seem to wanna hang out either. She says I stay in the house to much... well I love being in my home. I am not a fan of the outdoors especially when it comes to my 4 month old daughter sweating and crying the whole time wanting to go inside. I can't just beat my child half to death when she cries. She has every reason to cry...she is hot and wants to go inside. Out side she can get ate up with bugs and everything. I'm sorry I sound like a whiner but gosh I just needed to vent. I'm tired of having friends for a while then they find something better and out I go. I think I am a good friend. I am loyal and I love all my friends. They know they can come talk to me about anything. But, here I am might as well be friendless...The only person who shows any interest in being my friend anymore is Jessica...and she is a million miles away. I guess I'm just destined to be alone. This is ridiculous I need to shut up...I'm just so tired its 3:30 in the morning and I need to go to sleep but I am up stressing to the max about nothing obviously.
I'm just stupid.
Brittany<3
I'm just stupid.
Brittany<3
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Dear Ovary...
Please stop hurting !! lol
Okay so I have a cyst on my ovary...yay me. I got one when I was pregnant but it went away and haven't heard anything from it since. Now I have one on my left ovary. It hurts. I ended up in the ER the other night for severe pain and they gave me morphine...wow I was gone. Then they sent me home saying there was nothing they could really do except give me pain pills and send me on my way. So thats just what they did. They gave me a few percocet...now when you have to take 2 of those a day just to help the pain go away 12 do not last very long at all. So now I gotta go to the doctor tomorrow to get yet again more pain pills... not that I don't love pain pills (im not a junkie lol but hey who doesnt like the feeling?) but I wish something else could be done...it hurts bad and my mom had one rupture when she was my age and she almost died. I'm scared of having the same outcome or possibly worse.
But, lets not think about it. My little angel is growing so fast. She played in her jumperoo last night for 30 minutes and I videotaped her a little. She is such a funny baby. Her face when she jumps is hilarious. Hope you guys enjoy !
Click Me
Okay so I have a cyst on my ovary...yay me. I got one when I was pregnant but it went away and haven't heard anything from it since. Now I have one on my left ovary. It hurts. I ended up in the ER the other night for severe pain and they gave me morphine...wow I was gone. Then they sent me home saying there was nothing they could really do except give me pain pills and send me on my way. So thats just what they did. They gave me a few percocet...now when you have to take 2 of those a day just to help the pain go away 12 do not last very long at all. So now I gotta go to the doctor tomorrow to get yet again more pain pills... not that I don't love pain pills (im not a junkie lol but hey who doesnt like the feeling?) but I wish something else could be done...it hurts bad and my mom had one rupture when she was my age and she almost died. I'm scared of having the same outcome or possibly worse.
But, lets not think about it. My little angel is growing so fast. She played in her jumperoo last night for 30 minutes and I videotaped her a little. She is such a funny baby. Her face when she jumps is hilarious. Hope you guys enjoy !
Click Me
Sunday, September 6, 2009
3 in the morning....
I couldn't sleep so I got up and got on the net. Talking to a friend of mine I realized how quickly my priorities changed when I became a mommy. I used to go shopping and all I thought about was buying things for myself. I love spending money its one of my favorite things to do and I used to love spending it on myself. Now, I could careless whether I get new clothes... All I do is think about her. I just spent 40 bucks on pajamas for her online and I got a sling to carry her in for 50 dollars from this site. I can't wait to get them in the mail. Its gonna be like Christmas to me. I cant wait to unwrap my sling and put her in it and carry her around. We are going to the chatanooga aquarium soon and it will be perfect to carry her around in. I cant wait. Life is good.
Its nice to have a friend like Jess to talk to. We feel the same about alot of things when it comes to our children. She is an excellent mother and I value her opinion so much. I look up to her... I always have its weird. She isn't that much older than me but I seriously look up to her. She is so smart and just a WONDERFUL mom. I couldn't ask for a better friend. She calls me on my bullshit and tell me when something isn't right and doesnt critisize me about my decisions. I am so thankful she helped me get my vaxxing schedule just perfect to where I felt comfortable with it enough to talk to her pediatrician about. Before I really didn't have a plan of action I just knew I wanted to delay the vaxxing or space it out. I got Kaci her 2 month shots and all the combo shots just aren't for me. So jess helped me come up with a plan of action on how I want to do it and I really am thankful for it cause without her I would be putting stuff in my childs body without even knowing what I was putting in there. God definitely put he in my life for a reason and I can't wait til she lives closer again cause I miss her so much.
Okay now that I have gone all hallmark on ya I gotta get to bed. Night guys.
Brittany<3
Its nice to have a friend like Jess to talk to. We feel the same about alot of things when it comes to our children. She is an excellent mother and I value her opinion so much. I look up to her... I always have its weird. She isn't that much older than me but I seriously look up to her. She is so smart and just a WONDERFUL mom. I couldn't ask for a better friend. She calls me on my bullshit and tell me when something isn't right and doesnt critisize me about my decisions. I am so thankful she helped me get my vaxxing schedule just perfect to where I felt comfortable with it enough to talk to her pediatrician about. Before I really didn't have a plan of action I just knew I wanted to delay the vaxxing or space it out. I got Kaci her 2 month shots and all the combo shots just aren't for me. So jess helped me come up with a plan of action on how I want to do it and I really am thankful for it cause without her I would be putting stuff in my childs body without even knowing what I was putting in there. God definitely put he in my life for a reason and I can't wait til she lives closer again cause I miss her so much.
Okay now that I have gone all hallmark on ya I gotta get to bed. Night guys.
Brittany<3
Friday, September 4, 2009
One year today..
Last year on this day I saw this...
I never really posted the story of how I found out so I guess its about that time.
On September 4,2008 I woke up REALLY early. That whole week I had been feeling very nauseated but there was a stomach bug going around so I chalked it up to that. I had also been getting up really early that whole week which was unusual. I had heard that in early pregnancy your sleep patterns may change. But, anyways I woke up around 7 that morning and my mom was up getting ready for work. Brandon was still out of town. I got up and I had a sudden urge and craving for bacon and eggs. I am never hungry early in the morning so this struck me as wierd too. So mom said she would fix me some cause she makes the best eggs and bacon and toast but we didnt have any bread so I ran to the drug store right across the street. While I was there something told me to buy a pregnancy test. I figured I would take it just to put it out of my mind since I was only 2 days late which wasn't unusual. So I went home and mom fixed me the food and I forgot to take the test. I went and laid back down and took a nap and when I woke up I said what the heck I will go ahead and take it. Well I peed on it and sat it down and walked into my bedroom and walked back in and by the time I got back in there the second line had appeared. I was totally freaking out. I was home alone and I jsut saw a positive pregnancy test. I started crying and called my mom. When I got on the phone with her the convo went something like this...
Mom-"hey Brittany"
Me-"MOM !!! I NEED YOU TO COME HOME !!"
Mom-"why? whats wrong"
Me-"I just took a pregnancy test and its positive mom I think its positive !!! What do I do?"
Mom-"Your lying to me Brittany please dont be joking"
And I wasn't I jumped in my car and took off to wal-mart. When I got there the test had faded a little but you could still see it. Mom still didn't wanna get her hopes up since it was so faint. And everyone there kinda said its a bit to faint to tell so they didn't think I was. So I made an appointment with this place called the pregnancy crisis center and they could get me in that night at 6. Well, I called Brandon and he was in total shock and disbelief. He jumped in his truck and drove 3 and 1/2 hours home to come go with me. I was so sure that test was wrong I wasn't even excited for the visit. We got there and I took the test and the woman said "I see 2 lines!" And I said no you dont !! NO YOU DONT !!! OH my gosh Im gonna have a baby !!! Thank you God !!!!! I was crying so hard. I wanted a baby so bad and I was told I would have a hard time having babies so I was so happy. I came out cause Brandon couldnt go back there with me. I came out with this piece of paper and a sad look on my face and he was like oh its negative and I popped the piece of paper out and it had positive circled ! He got this huge smile on his face and hugged me. We called my mom and my mom said so give it to me gently. Brandon said well I am holding a piece of paper that say positive on it your gonna be a grandma. And she SCREAMED at the top of her lung and bawled her eyes out. She was so happy. I think she was happier than we were.
But, thats the story. its nothing extravagant but it is so important to me. I remember my feelings that day and I just cant describe the happiness I felt. So in a year we went from that positive pregnancy test to this...
She is my everything. My whole heart. The smile is the reason I wake up in the morning. Gosh I am so blessed.
Brittany<3
I never really posted the story of how I found out so I guess its about that time.
On September 4,2008 I woke up REALLY early. That whole week I had been feeling very nauseated but there was a stomach bug going around so I chalked it up to that. I had also been getting up really early that whole week which was unusual. I had heard that in early pregnancy your sleep patterns may change. But, anyways I woke up around 7 that morning and my mom was up getting ready for work. Brandon was still out of town. I got up and I had a sudden urge and craving for bacon and eggs. I am never hungry early in the morning so this struck me as wierd too. So mom said she would fix me some cause she makes the best eggs and bacon and toast but we didnt have any bread so I ran to the drug store right across the street. While I was there something told me to buy a pregnancy test. I figured I would take it just to put it out of my mind since I was only 2 days late which wasn't unusual. So I went home and mom fixed me the food and I forgot to take the test. I went and laid back down and took a nap and when I woke up I said what the heck I will go ahead and take it. Well I peed on it and sat it down and walked into my bedroom and walked back in and by the time I got back in there the second line had appeared. I was totally freaking out. I was home alone and I jsut saw a positive pregnancy test. I started crying and called my mom. When I got on the phone with her the convo went something like this...
Mom-"hey Brittany"
Me-"MOM !!! I NEED YOU TO COME HOME !!"
Mom-"why? whats wrong"
Me-"I just took a pregnancy test and its positive mom I think its positive !!! What do I do?"
Mom-"Your lying to me Brittany please dont be joking"
And I wasn't I jumped in my car and took off to wal-mart. When I got there the test had faded a little but you could still see it. Mom still didn't wanna get her hopes up since it was so faint. And everyone there kinda said its a bit to faint to tell so they didn't think I was. So I made an appointment with this place called the pregnancy crisis center and they could get me in that night at 6. Well, I called Brandon and he was in total shock and disbelief. He jumped in his truck and drove 3 and 1/2 hours home to come go with me. I was so sure that test was wrong I wasn't even excited for the visit. We got there and I took the test and the woman said "I see 2 lines!" And I said no you dont !! NO YOU DONT !!! OH my gosh Im gonna have a baby !!! Thank you God !!!!! I was crying so hard. I wanted a baby so bad and I was told I would have a hard time having babies so I was so happy. I came out cause Brandon couldnt go back there with me. I came out with this piece of paper and a sad look on my face and he was like oh its negative and I popped the piece of paper out and it had positive circled ! He got this huge smile on his face and hugged me. We called my mom and my mom said so give it to me gently. Brandon said well I am holding a piece of paper that say positive on it your gonna be a grandma. And she SCREAMED at the top of her lung and bawled her eyes out. She was so happy. I think she was happier than we were.
But, thats the story. its nothing extravagant but it is so important to me. I remember my feelings that day and I just cant describe the happiness I felt. So in a year we went from that positive pregnancy test to this...
She is my everything. My whole heart. The smile is the reason I wake up in the morning. Gosh I am so blessed.
Brittany<3
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Sometimes there are no words...
I just saw the most horrific thing in my whole life. I am warning you this is VERY graphic so if you don't want to hear it stop reading now and don't watch the video because it has graphic images... I was on my birth board and there was a post about This video so I watched it. Its a news story about a baby girl. She would be 6 years old now. Her name was Brianna. When she was less than 6 months old her parents abused her. Not only did they abuse her. They raped her. Her uncle and father. They bit her and threw her to the ceiling and let her plop down to the ground. I have never felt so much hate for people in my whole life. Its hitting me so hard cause this little girl was around Kacis age right now. And not only that...she looks like my daughter. I looked at her face with the bruises and I saw her little face...my heart broke into a thousand pieces. She was innocent. She was perfect. She was a gift from God. And they killed her. Not only did they kill her they tortured her. There are no words left in me...I still sit here stunned and in shock that someone could do this. I hate these people. They deserve the death penalty. No that is not even good enough. They deserve the worst kind of death. But, they only got 18 years. 18 years in jail for taking the life of an innocent little baby. I am going to go cuddle with my daughter and hug her and kiss her. I just wanted to post this so everyone would remember baby Brianna. Know that she was beautiful and innocent and is now in heaven with God. And I can only hope there is a special place in hell reserved for those who hurt her.
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