Let me just have a moment...

I must explain in this blog that I have an amazing husband. Ya know...things get rocky sometimes but it always comes back to me and him and the fact that I just can't live without him. I look at him and see that smile then I look at my daughter and she has that same smile...it warms my heart. Ya know what kills me? That I was such a whore in high school...okay well I wasn't a whore...actually compared to some of my friends I was a SAINT !! But, point here is I slept with a few guys. A few meaning 6...6 people before my husband. Its not a whole lot especially compared to some people but its 6 more than I wanted. My number 7 should have been my number 1. Ya get it? Our wedding night...was special. But I think about how much more amazing it would have been if we had waited for each other. I truley believe God puts us on this earth and he already knows who we are meant to be with. He formulated Brandon and I to be made for each other...and I wish I would have waited for him. Gosh I just wanna beat myself up for this everyday cause everytime we make love I wish I didn't know what being with other men was like. NOT that my husband is bad in bed...he is THE BEST I have ever had lol but thats another story. I just wish I didn't sleep around like I did. Even if we hadn't waited till our wedding night I wish we would've just waited to meet each other and be each others first...It kills me. And to see all these people sleeping around and having "booty calls" makes me sick now. I didnt do the "booty call" thing everyone I slept with I cared about in some sort of way it was never just about sex. But, there are people I know who have like 3 or 4 people the screw around with. Maybe not have full blown sex with but they screw this guy and get oral from this one...and its just really gross. But, thats another story also...I guess my point is...I love Brandon. *sigh* I was laying in the bed with him just a second ago and he just turned over and put his arm around me and whispered in my ear that he loves me...he was fast asleep snoring 5 seconds before that. He just randomly wanted to tell me that. He is such a wonderful man. I am so freaking lucky to have him. I had a stomach flu today and he got off work early and took Kaci for the whole afternoon so I could get some rest. Who does that? An amazing man thats who. He got up and went to work at 5 this morning then left work and came home and took care of Kaci for me cause I was sick. How wonderful? I am sorry if I am rambling but gosh I just love life lately. It had really gotten SOOO wonderful ever since I got some negative things and people out of it. I love this new life that my Lord has helped me to get. And I thank HIM so much for everything he does for me. And thank HIM for the blessings. Now I will leave you with another project of mine.

Brittany<3