Happy Halloween.

My daughters first Halloween...

Wow

I just realized my last post was my 100th post ! Go me !

So in other news I have had a good day and a terrible day. Good news first. I registered for school ! I am officially a college student now !!!! YES !!! I got my financial aid which I recieved the Pell Grant and I get 3,000 a semester. I also took out 2 student loans one for 3,000 and another for 5,000 and that is all I should have to do as of now. I am enrolled to get my Associates in Medical Assisting !! Thats right I am gonna be in the medical field. My LIFELONG dream has been to be in the medical field and help people. I plan to finish school and get a job and once I shave down some of my student loans I will go back to school to get my RN !!! I am gonna be a nurse ! I am just way to happy for words. I finally feel as is life is falling into place. I am exactly where God wants me to be and I couldn't be any happier. I am truley blessed.

Okay now the not so good part. Well truley it is just showing more of the blessings God has given me and my friend so its not bad just brought up so bad memories.

My friend Sydni(she used to be my best friend in High school) Recently gave birth to her son Mason. He was born 5 weeks early and was 5 pounds and 19 and a half inches long. At 2 days old Mason was found with his abdomen completely swollen...and for those who have followed me in my journey with my daughter you know exactly why his abdomen was swollen. Thats right he had exactly what my daughter had. He had blockages in his intestines otherwise known as Intestinal Malrotation. My mind became flooded at the words I was reading as she told me through text messaging what her little boy had went through. At 2 days old he had his surgery and is now in the NICU having the green bile pulled off his belly. As you know this all happened to my daughter. My heart is overwhelmed. I have cried for her and Mason and her fiance all day. This hit me like a ton of bricks...I know what she is feeling. I can still to this day remember having the doctor come in and tell me the news...and I can remember the numbness but seemingly overwhelming feeling at that moment. I remember seeing my daughter hooked up to IVs and monitors...I remember falling to my knees and asking God why...why my baby? Why my family? I remember resenting God for a split second but then realizing that he pulled her through it and it is because of him that my daughter is alive and well today. The feeling of being so helpless...Watching my daughter day in and day out not being able to eat when all she wanted to do was eat. Watching green,brown, and yellow bile being pulled off her stomach and having a doctor tell me that if this had gone another week...I dont know if your daughter would still be alive...The tears just keep coming. These are not things that I like the think about. Though I love the fact that my daughter life so far is a testimony for people to show how amazing God is. I guess I just hate being flooded with the firs tmonth of my daughters life being so scary. Leaving the hospital with an empty carseat is a feeling NO MOTHER she ever have to feel. It is heart wrenching and there were days I didnt want to get out of bed I didnt want to wake up but I had to be strong for her and now look at us...My daughter is the light of my life. She is healthy and beautiful and SMART and just down right amazing !!!

So since I forgot to write your letter today...here is to you my miracle. That is exactly what you are! You saved mommys life and your the best thing to EVER happen to me. I love you my sweet angel!

From this...



To this...




YOU are the true definition of a miracle !

Not Me Monday!!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This week I certainly did not sit my child down on the couch only to find that I sat her head right down on my digital camera and now she has a tiny bruise on her head...not me cause only a terrible mommy would do that !!!
I also did not have to pee so bad today and my child wasn't screaming so loud that I decided to take her in there with me while I pee and let her sit on my lap as I do so...nope I would NEVER do that because that is just weird right?
I also did not totally cry like a huge baby when my cheerleaders won 1st place in every category and took grand champion...no of course I didnt because that would make me a complete sissy and a total loser !!!
I also did not get my daughters ears pierced because everyone kept thinking she was boy...not this mommy no sireeee I would not do that !! (but as a side note she looks BEAUTIFUL).

So theres my not me monday ! :)

I am such a bad blogger !!

I forgot to write my weekly letter to Kaci on Tuesday!! *bad mommy* but here it is...late but still awesome !

Dear my little tater tot,

This week has been a crazy one. You have spent pretty much every waking minute with your mommy. I have enjoyed EVERY single second of it. Daddy hasn't had a day off in almost 2 weeks now so you have missed him but he will get a day off soon and he has already promised to let mommy get a much needed day to sleep in !! Ahhh I cannot wait. But, I have enjoyed it just being me and you. We have had some adventures the past few days. Mommy has went to the social security office twice this week once to get your SS card and another to get her one with her NEW name on it. Yes mommy and daddy have been married a year and mommy just now changed her name legally ! Gosh mommy is just scatter brained but you knew that. I took you shopping the past few days as well. Today I let you pick out some toys. We got you a new banky that has a giraffe on it and you named him Ralph and I got you your first doll and her name is Betty. I also got you some neat little letters to put on the bath tubs walls and spell out things. I figured it would be something fun you and mommy can do together since you love bath time. I also bought you a big girl bath tub this week. This makes mommy very sad that you are getting big enough to be in a bath tub that you can sit up in. Your tub is a pink inflatable duck *big duck duck* and you can squeeze the beak and he quacks !! You were very hesitant at first the way you are with every new thing but you have grown to like it alot more lately. I am so happy that you like it. Well my darling...mommy has to get up early tomorrow. Its gonna be the first day all week and that I dont get to be with you that much. Mommy has cheerleading competition so I will be gone most of the afternoon but I promise as soon as its over I will quickly be home to you !!! I think you and MiMi may come so perhaps we wont have to be apart that much !! I love you my baby.
Mommy<3

Wordless Wednesday...

Best night EVER !!

Yes tonight was amazing... well its past midnight so yesterday was the best day ever !!! I haven't had this much fun in so long. I saw Dane Cook do his comedy show at the Sommet Center in Nashville. It was awesome. I went with my lovely best friend Stacie. She is 20 weeks pregnant and tomorrow is her birthday well today is her birthday so it was special. I was supposed to go with my mom but we couldn't find anyone to babysit Kaci and mom didnt really wanna walk around that big place anyways so she let Stacie buy the ticket from her ! Well we get there and we are in section 106 which we were not far from the stage but we werent close then all of the sudden this random dude that worked there came up to us and asked us if we wanted to go sit in the front row right next to the stage for free !!!! I was like uh YEA but whats the catch...the only thing was we couldnt get up and pee or anything the whole show but I was willing to not do that to sit down there...well we were within touching distant of Dane Cook. I could have litterally reached out and touched him ! It was amazing. I did miss my Kaci though. But, it was nice to have a night out. I got me a hoodie. It was 60 bucks but I wanted it. Its so cute it has Dane Cook on the back and it has the SU-FI logo on the front !! I love it ! But anyways I just had to update on my AMAZING night !
Brittany<33

95th post !!!

Sooooo this is my 95th post !! 5 more posts and we hit the big 100 woohooo !! I don't know why I am excited but I am. I wish I had some cool thing to give away and I wish I had enough readers to actually even do something like that. But I don't so I guess it will be like any other post. Or maybe I will do something special for it I dunno.
Either way not to much is going on lately. I am stressed to the max. I coach cheerleading and my girls are just not doing well at all. We have 3 more practices till competition and we are no where near ready. All our stunts keep falling and it just looks terrible. I will be glad when its over but sad at the same time. I have grown very close to the girls. We have so much fun together it makes me feel younger again. My favorite is a girl named Hannah she is so much like me its sad. I call her my little mini me.
In other news I go see Dane Cook tomorrow night ! YES oh YES I am excited. Though I am sad cause mom cant go with me cause we couldnt find anyone that could watch Kaci. Brandon has to work early so he couldnt stay up with her. He has been working all week. He hasnt had a day off in forever and wont get a day off for like 2 more weeks !!! I miss him so much. I feel like we never see each other anymore. Ill be glad when grand opening happens and he gets on his normal schedule. 3 days on 3 days off. Ill like that. Maybe we can actually go and do something romantic. He is so amazing.
Anyways I got nothing else so I will leave you with a pic of me and my hunny.

Letters to Kaci Week 3...

Before I start the letter I must apologize for not posting this week. It has been so hectic and I just haven't had the opportunity. I apologize.

Dear Kaci,

Hello my love. This week was not the best. On wednesday October 7 I sat you in your bouncer like I always do on the table and I was playing with you. I wasn't thinking and I walked into the next room to pee and when I was walking back around the corner to you and I saw you falling from the table...as I ran to catch you you smiled at me and I couldnt get there in time and you hit the floor. You didnt hit hard and you didnt get hurt or anything...You did scream because it scared you...I took you to the ER just to make sure everything was fine...You were great you were smiling and laughing by the time the doc came in he kept you there for an hour to make sure no sign or symptoms popped up. They didn't of course and you were fine...but it scared me. I had a panic attack and thought I was gonna lose it. I tried to keep it together but it was hard. I hated thinking something could've happened to you and it might have been my fault...but everything was fine. Thank God !! If anything would have happened to you my angel...I do not know what I would do. You are my life. You have been especially clingy to your mommy all week. Not that I minded of course. I love cuddling with you. This week we also recently started putting you in the tub by yourself instead of bathing with mommy...you love it and get to splash around but don't think that mommy wanted to do that...It was just time cause you were getting so big..you were kicking mommy very hard and you wanted to splash around so this was the only option. You seem to enjoy it...I just feel like your growing up so fast...right in front of my eyes :( I dont like it but you are just the most amazing baby on the planet !!! Also, mommy had to take Mimi to Vanderbilt to get some more tests run Friday and you stayed with Aunt Janie...it was great. You did so wonderful. I came home and you were just happy as can be. Well my darling I don't really have much more. You are napping right now and I think I will go lay next to you and cuddle before we have to go to Cheerleading. I love you my sweet baby.

Mommy<3

Letters to Kaci once again...

Dear my Kaci,
This week has been wonderful. Each day you never cease to amaze me with your amazingness. This week has been a little weird tummy wise...Mommy got a stomach flu :( I had a fever for almost 24 hours and Mimi and Daddy wouldn't let me go anywhere near you. Thank heavens for them I don't know where I would be without them. Also your daddy is a silly head and got the wrong can of formula when he went to get you some. He got the same brand but you eat the Nestle Good Start in the green can and he got the orange can. He opened it so we couldnt swap it so we tried it out and it apparently messed with your reflux because everytime you drank it you would spit up like 4 times afterwards...So mommy made a special trip today to buy you the right formula and you havent spit up anymore. You little body needs the special kind and I don't mind at all ever going out of my way to make sure your not unhappy. You laughed yesterday out loud. I will include the videos at the end of this letter. Your laugh is the sweetest thing in the whole world. It gets more and more sweet the more you do it. You are getting so big. You turned 5 months on the 1st of October and I cried on that day...Not that you arent the most amazing baby in the whole world...I just want you to stay a baby. I don't want you to get bigger...With every new day we realize new things about you and your growing SO fast...Your definitely not my little small bunny anymore you are about 17 pounds now and gosh your just beautiful. I will never be able to explain my love for you my baby. My sweet baby...there isn't much more to say. This week was pretty uneventful. Just me and you most of the time. I love you with all my heart and I am gonna go lay in bed next to you now.

Let me just have a moment...

I must explain in this blog that I have an amazing husband. Ya know...things get rocky sometimes but it always comes back to me and him and the fact that I just can't live without him. I look at him and see that smile then I look at my daughter and she has that same smile...it warms my heart. Ya know what kills me? That I was such a whore in high school...okay well I wasn't a whore...actually compared to some of my friends I was a SAINT !! But, point here is I slept with a few guys. A few meaning 6...6 people before my husband. Its not a whole lot especially compared to some people but its 6 more than I wanted. My number 7 should have been my number 1. Ya get it? Our wedding night...was special. But I think about how much more amazing it would have been if we had waited for each other. I truley believe God puts us on this earth and he already knows who we are meant to be with. He formulated Brandon and I to be made for each other...and I wish I would have waited for him. Gosh I just wanna beat myself up for this everyday cause everytime we make love I wish I didn't know what being with other men was like. NOT that my husband is bad in bed...he is THE BEST I have ever had lol but thats another story. I just wish I didn't sleep around like I did. Even if we hadn't waited till our wedding night I wish we would've just waited to meet each other and be each others first...It kills me. And to see all these people sleeping around and having "booty calls" makes me sick now. I didnt do the "booty call" thing everyone I slept with I cared about in some sort of way it was never just about sex. But, there are people I know who have like 3 or 4 people the screw around with. Maybe not have full blown sex with but they screw this guy and get oral from this one...and its just really gross. But, thats another story also...I guess my point is...I love Brandon. *sigh* I was laying in the bed with him just a second ago and he just turned over and put his arm around me and whispered in my ear that he loves me...he was fast asleep snoring 5 seconds before that. He just randomly wanted to tell me that. He is such a wonderful man. I am so freaking lucky to have him. I had a stomach flu today and he got off work early and took Kaci for the whole afternoon so I could get some rest. Who does that? An amazing man thats who. He got up and went to work at 5 this morning then left work and came home and took care of Kaci for me cause I was sick. How wonderful? I am sorry if I am rambling but gosh I just love life lately. It had really gotten SOOO wonderful ever since I got some negative things and people out of it. I love this new life that my Lord has helped me to get. And I thank HIM so much for everything he does for me. And thank HIM for the blessings. Now I will leave you with another project of mine.

Brittany<3

Sickies...

So we are all getting a cold. Brandon brought it home(thanks alot baby) he started complaining of a sore throat then his nose started running and he just felt tired all day...now I woke up with a sore throat and runny nose. Nobody has had a fever thank the lord. Hopefully Kaci wont be getting it. But, we are a buncha sickies over here I hate seeing my husband sick cause he is always so strong and amazing and lately he is just tired all the time. That is not him at all !! I hate it. I dont really mind getting sick cause well I am used to it. I have a very weak immune system and if something is going around rest assured I will get it and so will my mom ! I hope Kaci has her daddys immune system. So far she is doing great so I am hoping and praying she doesnt get it. Its hard enough to watch her when she gets her shots but if she got a cold...oh gosh I would just break down lol.
I don't have much to say really just giving a quick update on me and mine.
Oh I have acquired a new pet recently. He is a kitty I am not sure how old he is but he isnt very big so I would say probably 6 months to a year old. He comes to my doorstep everyday and we keep our door open during the day to let in light and we have a glass door...well everyday about 2 in the afternoon he pops his head around the corner and meows telling me he is hungry so I put some food out there for him cause I cant stand it if an animal is hungry. He is such a pretty cat. I think he likes it outside so im just gonna leave him there and keep feeding him but I have named him Larry. He has big balls so I know he is a boy lol.
My daughter really seems to like him everyday he comes to the door and meows she smiles so he is now her Kitty. Even though she already has an inside kitty named Lexi she seems to like this little guy more. But, anyways just a quick update. Hope all is well for everyone else.
Brittany<3