When will it end...

I can't do this. I am tired of sitting here day in and day out and holding it in. For the sake of those around me I hold it all in. I hold every single emotion I possibly can in...but right now I am losing it. I am losing it all. My mind is running a million miles a minute and I find it hard to breath. There is an elephant sitting on my chest...I hate feeling sorry for myself but right now my eyes are so tired from crying and my heart is heavy. Without going into details...My father is of course back in jail if I haven't already mentioned that. He gets out November 25th and has nowhere to go and I don't want him here. There is a half-way house willing to let him stay there but he wants nothing to do with it. He says its cause they treat him like a criminal...well he is..but I know why he doesn't want to stay there. They wont let him take drugs and I know thats exactly what he wants when he gets out. The first thanksgiving in 3 years that I would get to spend with him and he is probably going to be high...as usual. On top of that my husband and I...tonight we had it out. I am so tired of hurting. Its always about him. I am in this house day in and day out and I clean and cook and take care of our child and run errands AND go to school at night. All I ask is for a little appreciation for what I do. He thinks I do nothing. He thinks I merely sit on my butt all day and somehow all that stuff takes care of itself. I appreciate him going to work everyday for us but that does not mean he can not be a father to his child. He looks at spending time with his child as babysitting I think. Thats the way he makes me feel. He yelled at me today because I had the worst migraine in the world and he was off work and I asked him to watch Kaci while I took so tylenol and took a short nap because he knew I had not slept the night before...and he was angry because the Vikings were playing and he wanted to sit in front of the tv and not be "bothered" by me or Kaci. Is it that hard to watch tv and take care of your child? Its funny I do it day in and day out and guess what if she needs more attention from me and the tv is taking up that attention she needs I turn it off because thats what you do...you make sacrifices for your child because SHE COMES FIRST !!!!!!!! We both had a part in making this baby and we both should do our part to take care of her and he think simply cause he goes to work he has to do nothing else.
On top of that my poor baby is teething. These teeth are popping up left and right and she wakes up at all hours of the night crying in pain and I can do nothing for her. I have tried tylenol and orajel and teething tablets. And she just cries. I wish it was me. I want to take all her pain and put it on myself. And on top of all this I am going to school. Yes I am going online but it is stressful and suprisingly very hard work especially when you have been out of school for 2 years and don't remember anything. And to top all that off I am not sleeping. I toss and turn and I cant fall asleep. When I finally just knock out from pure exhaustion Kaci wakes up and is crying. Needless to say I am just...tired. I look in the mirror and I have huge bags under my eyes. I cry day in and day out and all I want is to lock myself in a room and shut out the world. I want a friend...but I have none. Well, I have none here. My best friend is in the hospital in Louisiana and I pray for her constantly and I miss her...she is the only person I have besides my mom as a friend. This is all just to much for me to handle. I am going to go lay in bed and cry myself to sleep again. I apologize if I sound stupid and I am feeling sorry for myself. I have alot on me right now and nobody else to listen to me....