I am just writing because I am hurting. I am emotionally and physically hurting. And my husband doesn't understand at all. Even as I sit here I am fighting back tears while arguing with him over this very sensitive and close to home subject. The fact that I got on my husbands computer and found porn he had looked at is nothing new I suppose but the amount he looked at...I feel so unattractive. And all I see are these beautiful women on his computer that he would much rather look at than come in the bed and lay with me in the mornings.
On top of it depressing me...it says clearly in the bible that if a man looks at a woman and has lustful thoughts he is committing adultery in the eyes of God. Now, my husband claims to be a very religious man but when it comes to aspects like this I guess he isnt. His response when I told him this was that God made women for men to look at. He can't help it.
That hit me hard...he said this not even 2 minutes ago. I don't know why I am writing this or if anyone should even care...possibly I am overreacting but this is just all hurting my feelings.
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For this child I prayed. 1 Samuel 1:27
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2 comments:
((hugs)) I am so sorry you're hurting right now. I'm not a very religious person but even I don't buy the "God made women for men to look at" thing. I think that sounds pretty sexist to me and I would be highly offended by that.
I am due May 12 and also been having a lot of self conscious/body issues lately. Hang in there!! I think sometimes we just have really good days and others not so good.
Oh hun i am so so sorry. Porn is one of those things that i think people have differing opinions on. I personally don't mind the porn as long as he is coming to bed with me if that makes since.
I do totally understand how it makes you feel. Pregnancy does crazy things to our mind. You are so beautiful and the beauty of a rounded baby that holds a child is the most natural form of beauty.
It took me a while to come to terms with my new body and the fact that it wasn't the same after i had kids. I still have days where i wish i could go back to the no strech mark flat tummy me but i know i got this way because of my 2 beautiful kids and i would do it a 100 times over again if it meant having them in my life.
I hope that things get better for you to and try to look at other options. It might not be so much that he doesn't find you attractive as he might be afraid of hurting you or the baby. I know my husband had a lot of anxiety when we were pregnant for the first time. It could just be that he is scared.
The only way to ever really know is to talk about it. Try to get him to have a open and honest dialogue. You will have to control your emotions a bit which i know is hard. men tend to want to run away if they feel like we are going to cry or be hurt and it is because they love us and dont want to be the one to make us feel like that.
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