Bringing in the New Year the right way !!!

So this Christmas was by far the worst I have ever had. Not present or family wise I enjoyed that but I awoke on Christmas morning at 4 a.m. with a dull nausea feeling. I thought to myself ehh I probably just need to eat so I did and it didn't go away. I came home from my hubbys family about 11 and laid down. Woke up around 4 in the afternoon and threw up all over the place. I reached for my trashcan by my bed for cases such as this but it literally happened so fast I couldnt get it in time it went all over my brand new 80 dollar pregnancy pillow my mom got me that morning and my nightstand and floor and a little went in the trash can. Well, I thought to myself maybe its over with now it was probably something I ate. WRONG !!!!!! 30 minutes later I had taken 2 drinks of water... threw that up. Drank some more water...threw that up. Then I started having a very bad bad bad tightening pain in my lower abdomen and told my mom I have to go to the hospital... I knew something was wrong. My hands and feet went numb and I was broke out in a cold sweat. My husband was at work so my mom offered to take me. They rushed me into the room at the ER and said I was SEVERELY dehydrated and it could be pushing me into preterm labor. I panicked !!!!!! They checked my cervix and it was still closed and long Thank God... but they said I was definitely having contractions. They admitted me and I was in the hospital for 5 freaking days. Couldn't keep much down and to add onto it my round ligament pain is now so severe they put me on percoset (however you spell that)
BUT... I have great news out of all this. I had my 20 week checkup and ultrasound yesterday and the cyst that was on my Kacis brain is gone she has caught up to her heart size ... the only thing is the ecogenic focus on her heart but my doctor assured me she is 99 percent positive its nothing. I have an echo ultraound on Jan 15th just to make sure but I am not worried cause I know now that God has my baby in his arms... its obvious because she overcame so much just because of all the wonderful people praying for her. She is most definitely a girl and she will not have down syndrome or any chromosomal disorder... she is going to be my perfect little miracle.
Still, as I write this I cant believe it. God is so good to me. That was the best new years present ever !! Now I can get to shopping for my angel !!!!!!!
Thank you to those that prayed... I am forever grateful for you.
<3 Brittany and Kaci

Can't shake this feeling...

I am trying to keep my head up lately. When a doctor tells you that your baby could have down syndrome or a number of chromosome disorders that could cause your child not to live past the first week, possibly not even the first few hours...It gets to you. Everyone tells me "put your faith in God" I have done this as much as I possibly can but there is still that little voice in the back of my mind making me worry.
My mom turned to me tonight with tears in her eyes to tell me how unselfish I am. She said it amazes her how truly unselfish I am and how I have grown into the wonderful woman she always wanted me to be.
I thought at that very moment...But, I havent always been this person. I have no always lived my life for my Lord. I couldn't help but wonder is this my punishment for the bad things I have done in the past?
It hurt my heart and I begged God at that exact moment to not punish my poor child for my mistakes. Please God, let her be born with no problems and live a long happy and successful life. If anyone deserves the punishment it's me.
My mom told me God doesn't punish. But, he can preform miracles. And I am asking this today. My baby...my darling little Kaci...she needs a miracle. We need a miracle. I am fighting back the tears as I write this...they come so often lately it's hard to believe that Christmas is 2 days away. I am usually so happy this time of year and I should be especially happy this year because I have a wonderful being growing inside me, who I would lay my life down for even though she isn't even here yet. But, instead I am sitting here worrying whether she will even be here next Christmas like I had been planning.
Please, everyone...pray for a miracle. Not for me... for my Kaci. She deserves a chance at a wonderful life and all I want is to see her grow into the amazing person I know she will be. I just love her so much already.
Thank you all for listening to me...those of you that did.

Brittany<3

Got some bad news...

My darling little baby Kaci,
Sometimes I can't find words to explain what being a mother means to me. What it has always meant to me. I had the worlds greatest mom growing up all I wanted to do was make sure that my children felt and knew the same love that I felt. When I found out I was pregnant...I'll admit it I was petrified. The thought of bringing someone into this world who totally depends on me made me worry. Would I be able to tell you all the things that would lead you in the right direction? Would you always know that you have someone who will ALWAYS be there no matter what? I kept wondering to myself how do I instill these things in you ? When I saw that little heart beating away on the ultrasound screen tears fell from my eyes. Even though you looked like a little sea monkey then...it blew me away. This little being growing inside me... I felt as if I was complete. Hearing and seeing your heart beating...was music to my ears. Then at the 12 week ultrasound you were actually moving on the screen. I couldnt believe it. You took the form of an actual human. You had arms and legs. And then there was the 16 week ultrasound. Finding out you were a girl. That changed my whole world. You waved at me with those tiny hands. All ten fingers and ten toes... You were perfect. Your still perfect in my eyes baby. When I got that call from the doctor today I lost it. That same heart that I saw beating away at 7 weeks was enlarged and could possibly have some complications with it. It broke my heart to hear those words. It was like I was hearing things. I couldn't breath. I just kept saying this can't be happening... its just a dream its just a dream. But, it wasn't. Why? Did I do something to deserve it? I know there is still a big chance everything is okay but I just keep thinking about the what if's. And there are so many. I wish I could just come in there and tell you everything I wanted to tell you when you got older just in case. I wish I could just tell you how wanted you are... Mommy and daddy want you so bad... I prayed for you. I begged God for you...Your all I have ever wanted.Why?? Why did we even have to have any complications or possible complications?? Its not fair !! I have never felt so helpless in my life. All we can do is sit and wait. And pray. Please know you are my everything. You will continue to be my everything. I am already so in love with you...and mommy and daddy... all we wanna do is meet you and keep you forever. Keep being my stong baby. Know that you have so many people out here that love you and are parying for you.... Keep kicking me, kick me as hard as you can I don't mind. It just keeps reassuring me of your amazing strength and that God is in there with you holding you close and he will make sure you stay wonderful. Please stay strong with me baby.. I will try so hard to stay strong on the outside just for you baby. I'm so scared to lose you. Stay with me forever.
I love you my sweet angel...
Always and forever...
<3 Mommy

Finally a White Light !!!

I am feeling better !! Still not quite 100% but at least 80% now !! My hubby and I went shopping yesterday for Christmas gifts for the family. It was nice. It was really great to finally get to spend some time with him outside of us just laying around the house. Thats pretty much all we have been able to do this entire pregnancy cause of me being so sick but hopefully everyone keep their fingers crossed that all that is over with and I can finally start feeling better !!
We passed the build a bear workshop and I had the bright idea to make Kaci her first stuffed animal. I know she is still a few months away from being born but I think its really special and neat that we got to make her first stuffed animal ourselves and she can keep that her whole life. We made her an Elephant. I got to put the stuffing in it and Brandon got to put the heart in it. We named it Hugzy !! Ill put a picture up do you can see it. I fell in love I can just see my beautiful baby cuddling with this elephant.
Speaking of Kaci she is still VERY active. I am getting kicked very low not really up high and you can only feel them from the outside if you catch it... its really hard to catch cause she is stubborn and will do it for me really hard then I tell Brandon to come over and feel and she stops !! Already making a liar outta me I can see when she gets older and she starts talking and walking she wont do it for anyone else !!
My little baby. I can't wait to meet her. I guess that is it for today. Hope you ladies(and gents) are doing well and I will update when something interesting happens i suppose lol.
Brittany<3

In between coughing...

Thought I would give an update. So I thought I would try to wait this cold out myself and try to just tough it out... well that didn't work. I had to break down and go to the doctor today. Well she told me I definitely have bronchitis which sucks. I can't stop coughing and it hurts sooooo bad not only in my chest but in my abdomen where the baby is ...Doc said that was normal though cause I am coughing so hard. I am just miserable though. I can't really do much of anything except sit here and cough and try to ingest food that I cant taste lol.
Baby Kaci is doing well. She is moving around alot lately. My little angel is making my mommys tummy explode. My jeans arents fitting anymore I have to use a hair-tye to buckle them now haha. I guess its time to break down and buy some maternity pants but I just dont feel like leaving the house. It took all my energy to get up and go to the doctor today. Maybe once I am feeling better my hubby will take me on a nice maternity clothes shopping spree hehe.
Well ladies I have nothing else really going on so Ill leave ya with a new belly picture I have really gotten bigger since the last one its pretty funny.
Hope you guys are well.

Brittany<3

And its finally here...

For the past 2 weeks there have been 2 different sicknesses going around my house. Mom and I both got the stomach flu which was TERRIBLE and my husband brought home strep throat. Well my mom and Brandon both got the strep throat but for weeks now I have had no symptoms of it. And last night just sitting in my bed I swallowed and realized my throat was a little achy. Well in a span of a few hours my voice was gone !!!!! Not to much of a fever so thats the good news I just am so yuck right now I want it gone !!! I cant taste any food and I was just getting my appetite back.
Kaci Jade has been very active still especially last night when I first started feeling bad. I swear its like she knows. She is my little angel.
Well this was a quick update so if I am not here for the next few days you know why. Hopefully I will still feel well enough to get on my computer or I will go nuts lol.
I hope everyone of ya'll are blessed :).

Lazy and I don't care...

These past 2 days I have done nothing but lounge. And thats not a lie either I literally got out of bed to pee and brush my teeth and my husband did everything else for me. I feel bad but yesterday I had a very good reason. My pregnancy headache set in and it stayed alllllll day long. And tylenol does absolutely nothing for me so I have to tough it out. Which is fine as long as I don't do to much cause if I get up and try to move around my brain feels like its throbbing on the inside of my head it SUCKS !
I am still not gaining weight but I am also not losing weight either so I guess I am still stuck at this place. I have been eating like crazy though. No nausea the past few days which I am VERY thankful for. I feel like its finally over for good. Now I just hope it doesnt come back in the 3rd trimester cause I have heard that that is not uncommon.
On top of all this my little darling in my belly has been moving around so much. Its such a wonderful feeling I really think she knows how much I enjoy feeling her little bumps cause she seems to do it ALOT !!
Last night hubby and I got into a HUGE argument I was crying and upset and when I get like that I get to where I cant catch my breath and I automatically have a panic attack... well she gave me a few little bumps and that seemed to take any kind of worry or pain I had away. She is mommys little girl already and I am so in love with her already. Husband did apologize once he saw my side and realized I was right (like always lol) so everything is okay now. Marriage is so stressful. I guess every marriage has its ups and downs though I wasn't expecting so many downs this early on but I guess we have extra stress on us since we found out we are pregnant a month after the wedding. Maybe once our little angel gets here things will get better. At least I hope so for the sake of our marriage.
Well, I am hungry so I guess I will go grab my leftovers and snuggle up on the couch with my weenie dog and watch Hancock. I hope you guys are well :).
Brittany<3