I can honestly say I see perfection. I know that nobody is perfect except God of course but she is so close is pathetic. Kaci is this incredible ball of awesomeness. When she looks at me...I see so much love in her eyes. When she crawls over to me and says "Mama" I can really feel that this little person loves me unconditionally. No matter what I have done in the past she doesn't care...I am her hero. I am her rock. I am her sole source of love and affection. Yes, others can love her. Other can hold her. Others can say that they love her just as much as I do. But, forgive me you are wrong. This child is my world. You may come close to loving her that way but nothing can touch this love. The love a mother has for their child is amazing. From the moment I saw that positive pregnancy test it was over. I felt love from that moment on. When I saw her heart beating away on the ultrasound and saw her little body shaped into the formation of a seahorse...I realized that my heart was no longer my own. When I knew I was going in to be induced and I would soon meet this amazing being that I had created and nourished in my body for 9 months I was overjoyed. Flooded with mixed emotions of whether or not I was ready. Would I feel that instant connection all mothers speak of when they see their baby for the first time? Yes, times a million. When they placed my child on my stomach at that moment my heart could have exploded because of the amount of love I felt. Tears rolling down my face and staring at this beautiful baby covered in God only knows what...I was completely and utterly in LOVE. Her cry, her eyes, her lips, her nose, her feet, her hands, her belly button, and yes even her poopy diapers...I love everything about her. It is something that if you are a mother you know exactly what I am talking about...its something so indescribable. I really cannot put into words the love I have for Kaci. She saved me. In more ways that one. She is my light...my hope...she shows me that there is still such beauty in this ugly world we are living in. She showed me that no matter how rocky the road was before her...the road from there on out would be paved with this beautiful little girl to brighten up even the most horrific of days. And yes her whole first month of life...my daughter showed me what true strength was. She fought. She fought hard. And she won. I don't feel like I should be her hero at all...She is mine. She is my angel. My amazing little miracle. My reason for waking up in the morning. My entire reason for existence. My Opie. My turtle. My panda. My love. My Kaci Jade.
(Just for the record those are all nicknames that I gave to Kaci while I was pregnant and after I had her.)
Me.
No comments:
Post a Comment