Sometimes there isn't much to say...

I am miserable still and am showing no signs of having my daughter. As I have been in and out of the hospital the past week due to an INTENSE migraine and major contractions 4-5 minutes apart and picking up like crazy on the monitor I sat and thought to myself the other night as they told me they might have to take my daughter out that night I wondered to myself do I really want her out right now? Am I ready?? If this hurts then really how much worse does it get? Can I handle it?
I couldn't answer my questions and thankfully that night my daughter got to remain inside me. I keep thinking back to telling myself how badly I wanted her out and how I would just do anything to not be pregnant anymore. But now ? No, I want her to stay in. I am scared..no make that terrified. I don't think I am ready. I don't even think I'll be ready when she is due in 3 weeks. The doctor is talking about inducing in 2 weeks cause I talked about how miserable I was so much.
Its slowly hitting me that I will be a mother very soon and I just can't grasp this concept. I mean just a few years ago I was a stupid little teenager in high school and I followed my friends around doing drugs and breaking all the rules my parents set for me...and now here I am an adult...married to the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with and 2-3 weeks away from having my first child. WOAH !!! Talk about reality check. Watching a certain friend of mine still doing the exact same things we did in high school plus more and being an idiot has only scared me more.
At least as long as my little angel is inside me I can know that she is safe. That she is not out lying to me or doing drugs or (God forbid) having sex. I know these are things that I am LOTS of years away from but its scary. WAY SCARY !!
But, I'll hush. I will update if anything happens though.
<3Brittany