Dear Kaci...2 years old.

I don't even know how to put the words together to tell you how I feel. You turning 2 has been something I knew was coming and thought that I couldn't wait for it to be here and now that is it here...I just want to go back. I want time to slow down. I feel as if I just woke up one day and you went from that tiny fragile 7 pounds miracle to this amazing little 2 year old who is talking and being so independent I don't know how to keep up. I am so very proud of you my angel. I know that I say it all the time but Kaci you really are a miracle. Every parent feels that way about their children but you honestly are. Since before I got pregnant with you...challenges in life have been fighting against you. From finding out 3 months before I was pregnant with you that I "couldn't" have children, and then the white spot and cyst on your brain that magically went away while I was pregnant with you, and then the life threatening surgery you had to repair your bowel and you didn't lose ANY bowel at all...yes my darling you truley are a miracle. I sit here day after day and I feel like we just don't have enough time. I try so hard everyday to savor each second. To take in every new thing you do...but there just aren't enough hours in the day to experience all the amazing things you do.

I thought when I was younger that I wanted to finish school and then get my youth out of me before having children. I always thought that I wanted to work and have fun with my friends and maybe after I was done with all that I might have children. I never really pictured myself having kids because I honestly never had that dream. It was something that I just imagined I would do later in life....but then you came along. And you helped me realize a dream that I never knew that I had. I look at you and I am just so amazed that I created you. That I held you in my body and made you. Its unreal. I never thought I could create such perfection. But, my gosh am I glad that I did.

On this day my beautiful little girl...I just want you to know how loved you are. How wanted you were. And how precious your presence is to me. Your smile when I come in your room in the mornings seems to be able to brighten up even the darkest of days. Your hugs and kisses in the moments that I need them the most can remove every single dark cloud that life throws at me. I hope that one day you can thank God for giving me to you as a mother like I thank God for giving me your mimi as mine...but sweetie I am the lucky one. I thank God everyday for giving me you. I feel so blessed to be your mother. I know there is a God when I look at you...and that he chose me to be your mommy...I don't know why but I won't question it because you are the absolute be thing to ever happen to me...and I don't know what I would do without you my sweet angel. So I hope you had an amazing birthday and I can't wait to have many many more with you.
I love you my little miracle.
Love,
Mommy