Friday, August 6, 2010

Walking. Falling. Walking some more...

It's happened. My child is trying to walk. I think I prayed for this day for forever and now that it is here I am not sure how I feel about it. When she tries to walk and takes a few steps she looks so..."grown up" I realize that she is only 15 months old but she just doesn't look like my itty bitty baby anymore she is my very tall very beautiful very AMAZING toddler. Toddler....ugh that word. She isn't my baby !!! She is in her own room she is in a toddler bed. She doesn't even need me to entertain her anymore she prefers to go to her room and play and watch barney until naptime. This is a very bittersweet time. Yes I love the age she is at she is bunches of fun and gosh I just love when she does new things but when did she get so big? When did she go from that little blob that only woke up to eat and poop to walking and talking and not needing me for very much anymore...I know why people have more than one kid now. You get the itching to be needed again. When she goes to school I know thats when we will finally have another one. Until then I really don't think we will be ready at all. And I am totally fine with that cause lets face it I am not the happiest pregnant person in the world lol. And Kaci is more than enough right now. But, I can understand why people get the feeling of not being needed anymore and thinking well then I'll just have another one.

So I went to the doc the other day (I have a bladder infection btw) and Kaci came along as always because she LOVES going anywhere with me. Well she was standing up in the waiting area holding onto the WOODEN chairs walking and she was going to transition from this one wooden chair to the other but she was gonna have to let go and walk to the other one not holding onto anything. It was literally 2-3 steps max she was gonna have to take. Well I was watching her and sure enough she went for it and everything looked good until she leaned forward to reach for the chair and she leaned to early and face plants right into the wooden chair. My Lord I have never heard her scream so loud. I am sure everyone in that waiting are thought I was a terrible parent. I held her and comforted her and told her it was okay and I have to admit I cried right along with her. She eventually stopped screaming enough for me to look at it. She had busted her top lip and her nose was bleeding on both sides. I just knew her nose was broken I kept asking the doctor if I would know and begging her to look and she kept saying she couldnt see anyone under 2 but put my mind at ease and said if her nose was broken it would swell immediately. And of course every nurse that came in after her I asked and they said the same thing and one even touched her nose and wiggled it around and poked it and Kaci just laughed so we are sure its not broken. I felt like a bad mommy for a while I will admit it. I couldn't believe I had let her fall. I feel like she is always getting hurt on my watch ya know? I mean she fell out of her bouncer at 3 months old while with me. She crawled off the bed about a month ago when she woke up from a nap and I had the baby monitor on she usually makes some kind of noise so I hear her and of course that day all I heard was CRASH...WAAAAHHHH. And then now she plants her face into this wooden chair while with me. I seriously felt awful. Of course my other mommys quickly put my mind at ease and said that it happens all the time to mothers and well in all honesty it makes sense she would do all that on my watch cause she is with me all the time.

I am just blessed that she is okay. I dunno what I would do if something ever happened to her. I assumed since she fell while trying to walk this would make her scared to do it again. Well, I was wrong. She got right back up about 30 minutes afterwards and was trying again.

She is so awesome. I am so blessed to have her as my daughter. I love you Kaci Jade.

Mommy

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