Dear Kaci...

It's been a few weeks. I feel like a bad mommy I have been so busy with the holidays and everything going on with you being sick time has gotten away from me. This past week has been a rollercoaster. One moment we are told you have pneumonia and swine flu then the next day I am informed that you have neither of those and you have a VERY BAD bladder infection. Thank God for Dr. Little he has been such a blessing since the moment you were born I could never ask for a better pediatrician. Then the other day you stopped taking a bottle then you wouldn't take you paci which was really when I knew something was up because you LOVE you paci. So I took you to vanderbilt and of course you have a BAD case of thrush due to the antibiotics for the bladder infection. Today you finally started taking your bottles again. I have done nothing but cry,pray, and cuddle with you. You have said "Mama" over 20 times the past few days and MiMi and Daddy heard you so I am not losing my mind haha. You don't know what it does to me. On one hand it makes me the happiest mommy in the world and on the other hand you say it mostly when your upset and want me and its heartbreaking to know I couldn't do much to help you. My sweet angel I have enjoyed the cuddle and snuggling time we have had the last few days but now that your feeling better you don't seem to want to snuggle anymore except when your sleepy. But, I am glad your feeling better and I will take the snuggling anytime I can get it. You make me so happy. I watched you sleep last night for hours I just couldn't sleep because I was so happy that you were reating peacefully for the first night in almost a week. I cried and smiled out of shear happiness all night. I love you my angel...know that always. I am gonna go snuggle up next to you and daddy.