I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing...

Ever since the movie "Armageddon" came out I have loved the song "I don't wanna miss a thing" by Aerosmith. I was 9 when the movie came out but literally from the moment I heard the song at the end of the movie I said that song would be played at my wedding. I can remember planning it all out in my head. I would be walked down the aisle at my beautiful beach wedding by my daddy into my new husbands arms to the amazing words of that song. Obviously, that song is pretty long and the aisle at the church I ended up getting married at wasn't quite long enough to fit even 30 seconds of the song to lol. I haven't thought much about the song for the last few years. I will hear it and I still think of my dreams I had for it but I guess I never thought about how much it would truly mean to me now. We are nearing the time of the year that will leave 6 months until Kaci Jades birthday. May 1st is and will forever be the best day of my life and I try to make every birthday special for her. But this next birthday will be super special...My baby will be 5. I don't know where time has went but I just want it to slow down. When I was pregnant reality never seemed to hit me that I would have a baby that would eventually grow up. You always just imagine them being little forever and now here I am wondering how the last 4 years flew by without me even blinking it feels like. The point of me talking about the song is that now the words have so much more meaning to me. The very first verse of the song is powerful enough in an of itself. "I could stay awake just to hear you breathing. Watch you smile while you are sleeping, while you're far away and dreaming.". I can't tell you the countless nights I have stayed awake just to watch Kaci sleep. Listening to her breath, feel of her chest to make sure she is breathing(as all parents do especially that first year). Its those small moments as a parent that I think I will miss the most when she is all grown up. This song just has meaning behind it that I don't think would've served the way I needed it to at my wedding. My wedding was beautiful without that song and I was able to get my words out to my husband through something I wrote instead. Now that I listen to the words of this song it just says all the things I try to get out during my letters to Kaci. I want to stay here in each small moment we get together and just be for a while. "I don't wanna miss one smile, I don't wanna miss one kiss" those words are perfect. I live for her smiles and her kisses. I wake each day for those things. I say all the time that I sometimes wonder if Kaci is real. Did I imagine her into existence? If I could've hand picked her I know that I would have. Her beautiful smile, her eyes that are as crystal blue as the ocean, her voice that is the most precious sound I have ever heard, her outgoing and bubbly personality, her strong will to have things the way she wants the, her sassy attitude at times, and her gentle and caring heart she has for all humans and animals. I feel so proud and so happy to be her mom. I couldn't imagine my life without her and I never want to.