What makes a mother?

I read something today. Something that really set a fire in my heart. I post on a message board some people on there are mothers and some are not. Someone who does not have children made a comment that hurt me so much it's almost to much to even think about. As I wrote in my last post my cousin recently lost her newborn son so its still very fresh in my mind. The comment this person made went along the lines of "a woman who loses a child during pregnancy or gives birth to a baby that passes away shortly after birth is not a mother...a mother raises their children. Changes diapers, wipes noses, feeds them, and cares for them and a woman who loses their baby never gets to do those things. They don't wake up and live to care for their baby." Can I just say how disgusted I was when I read that? I literally felt queasy just thinking how women who lost their babies would feel if they read those hurtful words...how my cousin would feel if she read those words. I am here to say that changing diapers and wiping nose doesn't make me anymore of a mother than my cousin. My daughter had many health problems at birth and had to have surgery and we weren't sure if she would make it...but she did. Does that mean that I am more of a mother because my child lived? Does that mean I love my child more? NO. I'm blessed and thankful to have my daughter but there is no doubt in my mind that my cousin loves her son as much as I love Kaci. In some way maybe mothers who don't get a chance to raise their children love their children more because their hearts ache for their children. They still worry for their children. A mother who has her child here in front of her doesn't worry where her child is...a mother who lost their child wonders where they are all the time and how they are doing. They yearn for just one second to know that their baby is okay and in a safe and happy place. They long to kiss the booboos and sing songs with their babies. They yearn for those sleepless nights and dirty diapers that some people take for granted and complain about... If you gave birth and had the privilege of having a healthy child that you were able to raise and watch grow up...you are a mother. If you saw those 2 positive lines on a pregnancy test and became so excited only to have that happiness ripped away from you early in the pregnancy by miscarriage...you are a mother. If you made it through most of your pregnancy only to have to give birth to a baby that was stillborn...you are still a mother. And if you went through your entire pregnancy and everything was fine, you gave birth to a precious baby only to lose the baby to SIDS or birth injuries...you are still a mother !! No one certain thing makes someone a mother. Downplaying someone's role as a mother just because their baby is in heaven is so wrong. I sincerely hope people think more before they make such hurtful comments.