Dear Kaci 33 months.

My sweet baby. I cannot believe you are 3 months away from the big 3 ! It almost seems surreal honestly. You are so independent lately. And I know I say it a lot but it feels like everyday you need me less and less. Its bittersweet as always. You talk up a STORM ! Seriously you are all girl thats for sure because you love to hear yourself talk. And as much as it pains me to say it your new favorite person is daddy. I knew it would happen one day. Most girls are daddys girls. My mom said when I was your age I was attached to my daddy too. Your daddy is an overgrown kid so you guys have an absolute blast together. I love to watch you with him. You still want your mommy when you're sick or hurt or just upset. Which makes me feel good. Its so funny your daddy will be in there playing with you and then he will try to leave the room and you come running after him yelling "No Daddy !!! Come play toys !!!!!!". It seriously cracks me up every time. And your daddy has no problem being your personal toy to beat up on. Last night you were beating him with a plastic golf club and he was acting like it was hurting really bad and you were CRACKING up laughing so hard !! It was awesome. Its moments like this that I want you to remember. And its moments like this when I realize I will never get this time back. Time moves faster and faster and I feel like there isn't enough of it. I want you to have only happy memories of this time in your life. Sometimes, I try to remember my childhood and I can only remember the bad times. I don't want it to be like that for you. It WON'T be like that for you. Things have been rough lately. Mommy hasn't been working the past month and its taken a toll on mommy and daddys stress levels. But, mommy starts her new job on Monday so things will get better. As long as you are taken care of mommy and daddy will always be okay. You are our number one priority. But I think sometimes we forget to take the time out to be husband and wife instead of mommy and daddy 24/7. But, I love being your mommy. Its the best thing I have ever done and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the whole world. You know that though. We have been really working on us lately but including you in it because we just don't want it to be 2 separate things. We want to be mommy and daddy AND husband and wife and sometimes it feels like we have to choose but we would never. You come first always. We love you so much. Your daddy is a wonderful man and father and I really feel blessed to have found him in this world full of losers and dead beat dads. One day you will understand what I mean...but I hope you never have to feel the heartache I went through before I found your daddy. Now I am just rambling on and on as usual and you won't read this for years and all of this will be a distant memory but I am just so thankful to write to you and know that one day you can look back and see everything that happened in your life as it happened. Its so exciting to think of you reading these letters one day. I'll probably never stop writing to you. It helps me to express my love for you since right now you are only 2 and don't quite understand what I mean when I tell you "You are my everything." One day you will have kids of your own and you will know this love I feel for you. I never questioned my moms love for me but when I had you...I had this whole new respect and appreciation for her love and her sacrifices and just how hard she worked to make sure I had the best life possible. I could never repay her. I love you more than life itself . I cannot believe we are a few months away from you being 3. Happy 33 months of life Kaci Jade. Best 1004 days of my life !