Miserable People...

Things lately have been looking up. I feel like I have been so much happier lately than I have been the past few months. I had just been a in a funk and I finally found my way out. This week has been exceptionally great because we found out my mom gets to go back to work :) she gets to keep her insurance so when and IF she needs the transplant she has the coverage for it! On top of that we have been going to church the past few weeks...I honestly think that is what I needed to pull myself out of the funk. We are having Kaci dedicated to God on the 20th at our new church and I just cannot WAIT to witness it! Also financially speaking we are doing great ! Bills caught up and actually ahead on most of them...it feels good to be stable again. And my marriage...has been wonderful. We are working together to build our relationship into a stronger one and its working really well for us.

But, there are some miserable people out there who just can't seem to be happy for me. They feel its their place obviously to bring me down. And not DIRECTLY saying they are trying to do it I guess they think makes it less obvious to me but I am not dumb. I don't understand why people can't just not say anything at all if they have nothing nice to say. It's really actually humorous to me that these people are THAT miserable in their own lives that they have to TRY to bring me down. But, sadly their attempts at trying to make me as miserable as they are have failed. I am happy and for once I refuse to apologize for being happy. I have no reason to lie or put on a front about it...I AM HAPPY and it burns you and you know what? I don't care because I will continue to be exactly what I am. Life is to short for me to sit back and worry about what you feel or how you feel about me...I am tired of worrying about what I am gonna say and wondering if its going to upset someone if I say the wrong thing. I am tired of letting others push me around...its went on WAY to long. I am ready to be happy 24/7 and if that means pushing the negative and miserable people out of my life then so be it. I refuse to be anyones doormat. I just can't stand miserable people...Live your own life and STOP worrying about mine. Kay thanks bye !

My mother, My hero...

There are just no words to describe my mother. Anyone who meets her will tell you that she is the craziest person they have ever met but in a REALLY good way. She is the funniest mom anyone could ask for. Not a day goes by that she doesn't find some way to make me laugh and put a smile on my face. While being funny and outgoing are great qualities in a mom...trust me she has so many more...She is the most selfless person I have ever met. She NEVER thinks about herself. EVER !! When she gets any amount of money she NEVER wants to spend it on herself...she wants to buy everyone else things they want. She is always thinking of others. I just can't imagine my life without her.

I don't show my appreciation enough to my mom for being the most amazing mother on this planet...and I should because she won't be around forever. Honestly, we didn't think she would be here now. With doctors looking at you and telling you that your mother would never see you graduate,get married, or have children...you tend to lose a whole lot of enjoyment in life. From the moment those doctors told me that...I have not wanted to be without my mom. I get nervous when she is away from me for more than a day. I just don't ever want to lose her. And every single day since that doctor said that I have thought..."what if this is the day?" and I don't ever want it to be that day. I want her here forever. I want her here everyday to watch Kaci grow up and make her a great grandmother someday...I want so badly to know that she is going to get a transplant for sure and that things are going to work out perfectly but I just don't...I don't know what the future holds and honestly that terrifies me. I know I have to put it in Gods hands and I did but she just means so much to me. But this post isn't supposed to be talking about her dying. I just needed to show my appreciation and love to my mother. Getting to spend the day with her today ALL day has just made it the best day I have had in such a long time. I love you so much mom...you are my best friend...no matter how much we argue and disagree I will always love you so much and you will always be my best friend and my hero just like you always have been. I am just so thankful that God blessed me with you as my mom because nobody else would have done such an amazing job. Thank you for always being you mom.